Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Difficult decisions

So on Tuesday morning I Took the morning of from school, partly because I had a few things to catch up on but also because the youth worker from clic sergant who was assigned to me was coming round.

At around 10 ish Orlando the youth worker from click sergant came round to basically introduce himself, explain what support I had on offer, and get to know us(me and dad who were in the house at that point) a little bit.  Whilst it was fantastic to have Orlando round, he did stay for about 1 hour 30. And I had somewhere to be at 12:10 haha. Orlando’s visit was also to allow him to get to know me, and to see how I was doing. I could also tell relatively easily that when Orlando said, he had spent the majority of his working life, supporting kids between the age of 7 to 16, but I appreciated this not being a solemn chat.

That being said it was a very strange conversation, but actually not that unfamiliar to me. It was quite similar to the psychiatric questionnaire you are asked at the start of a Camp America interview. In both cases the person across the table knows nothing about you and so needs to ask you, and be able to rule out as many possible personal situation or circumstances that fortunately for me couldn't be further from the truth. Eg mums in a lot of these pictures,  where is she at the moment etc. 

The other thing that this chat has made us think about, and cause minor arguments, is as with everything money. I continue to be grateful every day for the kind of institutions that makes up this country I live in. I am so fortunate that there are organisations which can financially support me and my family during this difficult time.

But as has been pointed out to me, whilst there is a lot of money available, it doesn’t mean I have to take all of it. Unfortunately we live in a capitalist world which leaves many people much less well off. Also charities do not have a bottomless pit of money to support families.  So whilst that money is there for me, wouldn’t it not be better for me because of our families financial situation, to leave that money so the charity can support families in the future that are less well off.  But at the same time why should I make a decision to differentiate my self from other people, who are going through the same disease as I am.

It has been quite funny working back at my old school, whilst my brother is in his final year. As I suspected, during my first class helping out in year 11 the only thing the kids where interested in was, were I as clever as my brother.   That’s about a exciting as the conversations got, mainly because it has been such a long time since I did a lot of the stuff they are studying I am not a massive help. The only way I hope I have been of some us is just offering advice, about how to best revise for the exam that is taking place in an hour.

 So yes the teachers must be loving having a teaching assistant that they have to double check everything he claims.  But the one way I hopefully have been so some use is marking. Something for the CV I guess. 

So I am not just back at my old school out of the goodness of  my own heart. There are also some financial benefits, Wednesday afternoon I invigilated my first exam. Now I have done many boring things in my life, from ball crew training to practising the same movement during Karate training for 30 minutes. But this came close to being the most boring. Being my first time I was a little nervous to not do anything which might mess the exam up in some way. Thankfully I had been sensible and wore comfy shoes ahead of time so at least my feet wouldn’t die on me, but also so when I walked I wouldn’t be distracting people.   

However some higher power was against me on that day, because the stop I choice to sit down just so happened to be some very squeaky floor boards if they were stood on. I have never felt more self-conscious in my life. 

One of my other personal aims for the weeks, so to try and get my first “success” as a ambassador for the Orchid charity. So thankfully after invigilation I went  to have a sit down chat with the person responsible in the school for  all the PSHE education side of things. Thankfully she was really receptive to the materials I had to offer and I think me offering to present it, helped to seal the deal.
One school down now the world………..

Thank you again everybody am going to try and get one up before I head into chemo on Monday but lets wait and see J

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