Saturday, 14 May 2016

Why I continue to talk

So this  has been a relatively unproductive week but again has allowed me to continue to try and work out new ways I  help this new cause I guess I have “joined”.  Wednesday was a bit of an odd day, I meet up with a friend of mine from college who I hadn't seen in about 6 months. Now  excluding, her being forty five minutes late and then leaving after 30 minutes it brought  home something to me about why I am choosing to approach this current stage in my life as I have.
She unfortunately suffered from depression during her first year which completely derailed her university time and is now looking to start again at a different university.   But the thing which concerned me was that she had not had the confidence to tell her family about why she had left university.  

Whilst I can in no way understand her position because everyone’s issues are their own, but at the same time it brought home to me how lucky I am to be in my current family situation. 

So this current situation, to me is actually not that different to how I have tried to approach the other issues I have lived with my entire life. Being dyslexic, autistic, is often something that carries with it a large amount of often in correct perception.  I hope in a small way, my publicness about my life in this form helps to change some perceptions associated with the word cancer, autism etc.   But just to be clear I take this approach not because i am brave but because to me it makes no rational reasoning why not.  But also I am happy to talk publicly because I am fortunate enough,  to have a family atmosphere which has allowed me to be confident enough to do so.

There are a couple of things I am continuing to try and keep on top of, as I have the time. Firstly is continuing to work on job applications. Whilst I am very happy with hopefully start my MA in Birmingham in October, I think its important mainly to keep me busy to continue to work on cover letters etc. Because I want to make sure when the applications matter I know I have not wasted time getting practise in, when I have the opportunity to do so.

The other thing I am going to try and make sure I keep up as I have the time is cook. As Alicia knows I am not the most adventuress cook, but I thought no better time than now.   I would like to thank you my brothers and dad, for looking like they enjoyed my slightly over cooked and terribly portioned stir fry.  A final thing I am looking to make sure I keep doing, at least well I can, is go to the gym. Admittedly, my trip on Thursday I was more concerned about avoiding getting a heart attack then pretending I am honing my athleticism.

Friday was a pretty active but long day.  When you are not sleeping well, deciding to make a 9 am bus for a 2 and half hour drive to London may not have been my brightest decision, but we live and learn. On the drive down I couldn't work out why I had really terrible headaches, then I had a coffee and realised that I was having caffeine withdrawal oh the joy.  I was done in London for two primary reasons but also to do some tourist stuff.

The main thing was to head to the offices of a Male cancer charity called Orchid.  I was there to discuss, their ambassador program and how I might be able to help. The first thing was that it was quite off to be in the office of a male cancer charity and for it to be almost entirely staffed by women. Literally just mean the optics where quite funny.  So going forward I am looking forward to acting as an ambassador for the charity, in Birmingham or where ever they need me. I am looking forward to helping to advocate and raise awareness of male cancer in whatever realm I am allowed in. Birmingham university sabbatical officer will not know what’s hit them.

The second reason I was down was to meet up with a friend of mine who was visiting from the Philippines with his parent. We first meet early last year, at an international festival in Norway.  I tried my best to help his mum out on advising on exactly which department stores on Oxford street are the best. I think I got away with pretending I knew what I was talking about. It was fantastic to catch up with him, because he is a really well travelled and well achieving guy who is changing the world. We are both graduating this year, but with slightly different options he is heading to silicon valley I am heading home.

 Whilst I am very much just trying to focuses on the now, and I am in no way close to him, but sometimes its nice to be reminded that there is a world out there and  it is possible for me to go out in my own small way to change it, once this period of my life is done.

Finally, just because I probably haven’t written this enough, but thank you to my brothers for continuing to keep my ground throughout this process.  It is refreshing that when people are describing you as brave, and saying how inspiring you are to be reminded that I still suck at washing up. But seriously this has been a difficult time for all of us, but having them be prepared to give up part of their free time in considertion of what my needs might be during treatment is heart warming.

These last two and a bit years I have not been around probably as much as I should have as the older brother. But I am eternally grateful that when I needed them they are here for me.  

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