Friday, 22 April 2016

Facing the reality

So today was the day.

It was the day which would define and effect my next 6 months and could really put my life on hold. It didn't get off to the best start, managed to get lost on my morning walk so it was really a sign of things to come. Side note am really getting into my power walking routine, Carmel give me a couple of months might be near your level ;).

I Tried to call up early so I could get a bit of a head up on what my blood result are, Paul who recently having come back from holiday, catching up on a lot of work, he was not going to be able to take the time to look up blood results which will be followed up at 4pm.

 In order to try and make the day go a bit quicker me and mum went to the cinema, thought with a 4pm appointment 12:40 movie we would be fine.  Well firstly Zoo tropilis is a fantastic, a nice and fluffy movie Disney movie which considering the circumstances we both needed. It also gave me an idea about how I am going to spend my time in recovery after treatment. There was a guy in front of us who I saw after the screening had ended and we where leaving, just walk into another screen.  

 However, there was a slight issues as it turn out we were a bit wrong, time wise. Mainly because we had to go and pick up my dad at a time when everyone was leaving the local primary school.

We made it back to ours at 20 past; the appointment was at 4:00. So despite the rush we actually made it with 10 minutes to spare. However in the end, our efforts made no difference, as they were 40 minutes behind. The joys of the NHS.

The moment came and we went in, its never reassuring to be seeing a new doctor who for some reason did not appear to have any of your notes from previous meetings.  So the moment we went in the word treatment was used and I knew straight away as I suspected I was never going to get out of this in the clear.

But before I knew quite exactly how screwed I was, first thing I wanted to get checked was my second lump. So I went into a side room with the doctor and Paul the specialist nurse who the second I pulled my pants down, pretty much said in unison, it’s a prosthetic. Whilst I am pissed off that I have something in my body which should have been there, I am more just relieved that it was not a cancer relapse.

Once that got sorted, my situation was outlined. Despite the seriousness that it sounds, I currently am not that in trouble. My blood levels are continuing to drop so the surgery worked. I don’t have a new tumour in my body.  However I do have the small possibility of that a lymph node in my body is 1cm away from being considered enlarged to a dangerous  level. I also still need to get blood test, until stuff have dropped which means I get only a week break from this place.

Due to this possible complication, actually works well for me. This is because they can’t start treatment until they know if the lymph node is expanding or staying the same so I know have a month to enjoy my time a little bit.  Now if it turns out I need 3 rounds and the node expands then I will be pissed but until that point, but thinking positive people.

So straight after we finished me and my mum headed to Wolverhampton to go see Stuart Goldsmith , I know a bit of an odd thing to do.My dad did ask when we came back if I didn't just want to sit and think about everything. But the thing is there is not really that much to think about. My mum put it well, this is not so much of a battle or anything I have any control over. Things are being done to my body, so when I have little control of that there's not really much to think about.

Also I paid for  the tickets and its the principle of the thing sometimes ;)

 But I really loved it, because it was great to just focus and indulge in something completely different. Also so nice to go to a gig, where firstly san miguel was only 3 quid, and the person working the bar when I didn't have cash, as they didn't take card, to let me pay later. 

I don’t know when my next blog will be, but treatment doesn’t begin until May 23rd so hopefully it will be me continuing to enjoy life and my hair / beard before it goes. The hair not my life ;) 
 Belfast see you Monday. 

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