Monday, 11 April 2016

Living in the moment

So the day before was quite weird because,  not only did I spend most of the day wondering how and when do I make this announcement. I also had a coffee date with a really old friend of mine. The question I had to ask my self was this the time to tell someone. I decided no and thankfully that allowed me to just sit and listen to how her life had been in the two years since we had seen each other last. Sarah thank you for reminding me  that stuff still goes on and being a constant friend for a very long time.

So I eventually steeled on doing a video which I could put up on my facebook next Tuesday a week after the diagnosis. Theres another thing you don’t consider I guess, is how it hits your family. Thank fully both my brothers are slightly heartless basterds (I say that with love). So they have both been completely rational and not, not caring but not concerned. My dad told his sister(WITHOUT TELLING OR ASKING MY PERMISSION this will be relevant later) he was similar to my brothers.

My mum was different, thanfully and it was unfair that whilst it was completely out of my control what my dad did, to not let her tell someone.  So after a night time skype with the GF where armed with some literature given to me by paul I put a couple of her concerns to rest. Before wishing her good night.

Next morning, got up later than I planned so breakfast was more a case of stuffing my mouth with cards (PASTERYS) than a relaxed meal. The rest of the morning was basically spent just trying to kill time,I decided it was a good time to do my video.

After only two takes (VERY PROUD OF MYSELF FOR THAT) 12pm  when I was set to go in came around.  Me and my dad went into hospital down the long white corridor, and getting settled at my bed the waiting game began. After getting seen by a nurse and another person Within two hours, It was not until about 4pm when everyone else in my ward had been seen that it was my turn. At that point I was chilling solo, I had sent my dad on at 2 to save hime the bordem of waiting.

So when the moment actually came to get changed into my gown, trying to decide if my  dressing gown so needed, mainly to stop my arse from being on show, I was more just thankful that food was soon going to become a part of my life again.  You would think that I would be scared nervous etc, but once boredom sets in it kinds of rules. The only thing to break the boredom of my own podcasts, was a guy from the end of the row who was in from a local prison. The other exciting moment was when a guy started bleeding through his cut.

Like I said it was a long wait. One of the things I was slightly nervous about the day before was getting to sleep. But not eating for nearly 10 hours and sitting on my arse for most of it, I was no longer concerned.

I want to take a moment to thank nurse Lauren who sat with me for about 20 minutes whilst I waited on the surgen to take me in.  One thing  that will live with me for a while is whilst being rolled to have my testicle removed, after telling a different surgen what degree I did. Being asked can you travel/ do much with that.  Also I feel like I should  explain the surgery. I currently have a deep cut  on my right lower abdomen. Basically that acted as a whole from which the testicle was pushed through then cut out from my scrotum . Think of it like turning a pocket inside and out.

I woke up in a recovery area, ridiculously hot and in pain. So like any normal post surgery patient J
Also I would like to take this opportunity to state MORPHEN IS A BITCH. At this point time kind of becomes a bit of a none issue in that I don’t remember this bit very well. Like I said morphen.

So originally, I was meant  to be only a day patient. But it  was now 7:30 ish maybe 9, it was dec
ided I was going to  be staying the night. I got moved downstairs and tranfered into a more comfortable bed. Then the bearer of supplies, came in the form of my dad and most importantly a fizzy drink. After having a tube down my throat to help me breath, I kind of needed some juice literally.  So at  this point, me and my dad stories of this point differ. Morphen like I said is a bitch
So I think I calmly welcomed my dad talked to the nurse talked to him so a bit whilst I tried to get settled. He claims I was swearing left right and centre whilst talking to him. My girlfriend who I called a couple of times in my deep husky tone, that night might confire with my dad opinion. Now  of course believe who you want ;)

I managed to get myself settled and got my podcasts going. Lights out was around 11:30 but again for anyone who knows me well I have always been more about living in the moment than being constrained by the clock ;).

My text post will be on the morning after. 

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